Why or why not? Loving yourself before you can love someone else or can truly receive love is a lie. *They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’’ command to*“love … They know the depth of love and breadth of grace that flows out from them toward others wh… You can't make anyone love you without loving yourself first.” ― Kemi Sogunle tags: giving-love, inspirational-quotes, love, love-quotes, loving-one-another, loving-others, loving-someone, loving-yourself, loving-yourself-unconditionally, real-talk, reality-of-life, self-love, truth, unconditional-love. Or stories about how one of these verses has impacted your life? Explain your answer. It's amazing how much of a difference knowing even one verse by heart can change you. Doug Britton, Bible-based Marriage and Family Therapist, has helped hundreds of thousands of people as a therapist, clinical director of a treatment center, seminar speaker, radio cohost, and author of over twenty books that show how to apply God's truths in your daily life. He did not give us a third commandment. : (1 john3:11), Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. That’s just something people read into the passage. Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. Following are the Top-100 quotes on loving yourself, self-esteem, self-worth. (Psalm 52:8), The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3), How priceless is your unfailing love! Leviticus 19:18 “You are not to seek vengeance or hold a grudge against the descendants of your people. Left dormant, it will stagnate like a pool of water with no outlet. What seems to be more healthy is self-acceptance—that is, viewing yourself as a basically good person who is worthy of love, without needing to prove yourself or outshine others. In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul wrote that each husband “must love his wife as he loves himself” (Ephesians 5:33). Summary: Self-love, or loving yourself. he said. He didn’t say “on these three commandments.”. The speaker had just given an impassioned speech from Matthew 22:39 about the vitality of self-love and acceptance for our spiritual lives. The Bible also cautions us to not love the world, or what the world teaches. Introduction: Multitudes of people, Christians included, go through life feeling discouraged, depressed, and unlovable. Is it absolutely wrong to feel self-love (or to love yourself)? There’s a cliché saying that you have to love yourself first, before you can deeply love other people, be it your spouse, family or friends – assuming that we know different kinds of love. Until you die. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Of course not. Jesus being the prominent example of this and encouraging self-denial in that He says, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. Throughout the Bible, it is assumed that we love ourselves. (John 3:16), But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved. When Jesus said to love your neighbor, he wasn’t saying to love your neighbor after you love yourself. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. He was not adding a third commandment or a precondition to loving others. Was Paul saying a husband can’t love his wife until he learns to love himself? It’s a lovely saying for sure, but let’s try to analyze and find the answer to why it’s so important to love yourself first, from a very practical point of view. See reprint policy. Since Jesus said to love my neighbor “as myself,” does this mean I should hate my neighbor since I hate myself? Is the phrase love yourself before you can love others Biblical? But that’s not what he meant. If you think you should love yourself first, you missed his point, Understanding humility—what it is, and what it isn’t, Knowing God’s love — How to be reconciled to God. Or so we often think. LOVING YOURSELF FIRST (BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS) Many people think the answer to a poor self-image is to learn to love yourself. Is self-hate the opposite of self-love? Real Questions. LOVE OTHERS. No, because we are created in the image of God, whose primary quality is unselfish love. If loving yourself is not the answer to a negative self-image, feelings of inferiority, or sense of failure, what is? Anger     Anxiety    Christianity    Counseling    Culture    Depression    Marriage    Money    Parenting    Personal Growth    Relationships    Self-Image    Small Groups    Temptation. If so, check out this online Bible study: God’s love for me — A personal Bible study on God’s love for us. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Loving ourselves should not be an egotistical or arrogant thing but an appreciation of our existence by the grace of God. When we are excited and secure in his love for us, we don’t need to try to find meaning by loving ourselves. Jesus came and paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins — not because we deserved it, but because He was a living, breathing example of loving others well. Would you like to know more about God’s love? They think “as yourself” means you cannot love others unless you first love yourself. He didn’t get a text “there’s a hurting man that you’ll see when you travel this way”. In a world where hurt and pain exists at every turn and words can be carelessly thrown around, the need for loving our neighbor is extremely high. In this passage, Jesus said there are two great commandments, one of which is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:34-40). He was simply saying to love other people. And when you love yourself and the things about you, only then can you properly share yourself to the world. For if we love God most, we will love others best. Related: Understanding humility—what it is, and what it isn’t. Jesus could not be talking about an impure love of yourself because He would never say you should love yourself from a sinful perspective, motive, or desire. God wants us to love ourselves and our identity in Him! Paul reiterates this principle of self-denial or not loving himself in that he sacrificed everything for the sake of the gospel and repeatedly risked his life for the sake of spreading the gospel. Loving yourself is the practice of self-love, and it’s ongoing. (1 John 4:19) As you will see, that’s not what Jesus was saying. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15-17). Let’s look at another verse that helps us see this point. No. This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi). Everything just has its own timing and there isn't anything wrong with us if we don't get there at the same time as another person. These Bible verses are about loving others by focusing on the greatest commandment in the Bible: Love your neighbor as yourself. Forever. Sign up for Doug Britton's newsletter today. Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. (Visit www.dougbrittonbooks.com.). Loving ourselves may come naturally for some but loving someone else the same way may be more difficult. Whoever does not love abides in death. Remember that: Loving others starts with being observant. Your confidentiality is assured. As a thirteen-year-old, I sat in the auditorium of a youth camp with mixed feelings. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. 100 Love Yourself, Self-Esteem And Self-Worth Quotes 1. John 13:34-35 TLB says, “And so I am giving a new commandment to you now —love each other just as much as I love you. Not necessarily. You will read more about enjoying God’s love later in this study. The phrase “love your neighbor as yourself” comes from Jesus’ answer to the question, “Which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” (Matthew 22:36). Your confidentiality is assured. Copyright © 2020 Doug Britton. "LOVE YOURSELF" in the KJV Bible. (John 13:34), Do everything in love. 4. (Ephesians 5:29), When Jesus said to love your neighbor “as yourself,” he simply was emphasizing how important it is to love your neighbor, to be genuinely concerned for others’ welfare. Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” We are commanded to love one another as Jesus does. The scriptures tell us not to love ourselves, but to love others more than we love ourselves and put the interests of others above our own. Instead, love your neighbor as yourself. The alternative to loving yourself is not hating yourself. Demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. Bible Based. “And Adam knew Eve his…. Check out our Bible Answers page for more information on a variety of topics. Your Question (required) Would you like this question answered on our show? One of the first steps in finding ways to love others as yourself is noticing them. Please remember that you have to love yourself first, before you can then love others. 1. After all, I am supposed to love my neighbor the same way I love myself. Dig deep within to demonstrate your worth. In Mark 10:29-37, Jesus showed us what he meant by telling a story about a Samaritan man who helped an injured Jewish man. Copyright © 2021 Doug Britton Books  |  Reprint Policy  |  Privacy Policy  |  To accept the use of cookies, simply continue using this website. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. Many of us are disgusted with ourselves or our bodies. Many people think the Bible says they must love themselves before they can love others, but that is not what Jesus said. If we aren’t called to love ourselves, does that mean we should hate ourselves? Notice that Jesus said, “All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:40). We can have it all. We will never sell or share your name or email address. Give your true self to the world and those around you. Were Cain and Abel the first children of Adam and Eve. There is not one … Some are even self-destructive. The more we experience God’s forgiveness and love, the more we think of him and the less we think about ourselves. Doug Britton, MFT www.dougbrittonbooks.com. When Paul wrote these words, he was writing about selfish, self-centered love—a type of love that is very different from the self-giving love God wants us to have. Here are 10 reasons why self-love is the best kind of love, and why it's important to love yourself first, before focusing on loving someone else. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. Real Answers. But the human love the Bible talks about isn't just a passing emotional state. That’s why the Bible actually warns against self-love. The most loving thing we can do for others is love God more than we love them. (Genesis 1: 27; 1 John 4:8) This means that we are designed to show love for others. Loving yourself certainly makes it easier to love someone else. You might say, “But I hate myself” or “I hate my body.” That may seem to be true on one level. Do you need to love yourself before you can love someone else? Get our latest answers straight to your inbox when you subscribe here. Loving yourself, giving grace, forgiveness, treating your body kindly, and resting are just a few ways to love ourselves. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matthew 16:24, 25 and Mark 8:34-35). People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy … (2 Timothy 3:1-2). It is part of human nature, part of what it means to be a human being. In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. LifeTree Books Our Mission Author Doctrinal Beliefs Testimonials, Reprint Policy Newsletter Privacy Policy Seminars Contact Us. We will never sell or share your name or email address. But as many wise figures have remarked over the years, it’s in fact only when you first learn to accept and cherish your own essence that you can find the peace of mind to be truly present for your loved ones — and for your own life. English, Arabic (العربية), French (Français), Hindi (हिन्दी), Table of Contents The plot against DanielDaniel’s faithfulnessGod’s prophet thrown to the lions’ denGod saves Daniel from the Lions’ DenDarius praises God This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi)The…, This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi)According to the account in Genesis, Cain was the first child of Adam and Eve followed by Abel. Click here to see what’s new on our website. I believe the popular teaching of self-love falls … Roy T. Bennett. The key to a positive self-image is to understand how much God loves you. It may be possible to say something such as, “I love myself because God created me, and he loves me.” Or, you might say, “God loves me, so I am lovable.” However, this can be a dangerous road to travel since it’s easy to focus more and more on ourselves — our accomplishments, our popularity, our power, our wealth. What does loving your neighbor “as yourself” mean? Now that you love yourself, it’s time to begin helping others find the highest form of self-love of their own. As the Bible says, “there is more … Summary: Self-love, or loving yourself — Did Jesus say you must love yourself first? I am the LORD.” Self-worship is a sin. No. In the years since then, through studying the Bible, Ive come to understand my misgivings better. Let me illustrate another way you could read into this passage — and be just as wrong: Imagine that I hate myself. Throughout God’s word, you find the concept of love, self-sacrifice, and self denial. God’s love for me — A personal Bible study on God’s love for us. (1 Peter 54:), This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. The world tells us to love ourselves before we love others, but this stems from a selfish spirit and directly contradicts the Bible. 2. And he wasn’t saying to hate your neighbor if you hate yourself. Home » Miscellaneous » Is the phrase love yourself before you can love others Biblical? How can you love someone best by loving someone else most? That clearly is not God’s desire. They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Visit www.dougbrittonbooks.com for practical, biblical, cross-cultural books, Bible studies, and ebooks. They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). 281 Instances - Page 1 of 10 - Sort by Book Order Expand or Limit Your Search Results: All KJV books Old Testament only New Testament only Apocrypha only (?) Peter upholds love to others and specifically adds that we need to deny ourselves from fleshly lusts that war against the spirit (1 Peter 2:11). Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”. Jesus was (and is) a superb communicator. As you love yourself you will realize what you deserve and create your own sense and definition of love. Matthew 22:39 reads simply, “A second [command] is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” In popular circles this verse is often paraded as a text which teaches that we are commanded to love ourselves. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3–4). CBN.com-- Loving other people doesn't mean being "in love" with everyone. There are three things you can do when you want to make a commitment and find ways to love others. We choose to care about another person's welfare, even if that person has hurt us, called us names, ignored us. In fact, without realizing it, we are suggesting that to love yourself is the second greatest commandment, for we are saying it comes before the commandment to love others. Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. It’s pretty straightforward. Loving yourself is the hard part…. So get your Bible verse lists out and memorize one a day. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Understandably, they desperately want to escape a negative self-image. A note on Loving Yourself ~ The Bible says: “Love Your Neighbor as Yourself” (See #1 above). It's something based on choice. Permission granted to print for personal use. Don't miss out on new Bible studies! Did Jesus say you must love yourself first? Have insights you’d like to share ? "Warm-fuzzy" love is easy -- until the emotion starts to fade, that is. I know this sounds like preposterous gobbledygook to an unbeliever. If you’re thinking rightly about God and yourself, you should not hate yourself, whether it’s during the pre-fall with Adam and Eve or the post-fall with the rest of us. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. But those who have encountered the living Christ understand what I mean. Sign up for 1-2 newsletters a month announcing new Bible studies and more. He demonstrated this love in the most powerful way possible when he sacrificed Jesus on the cross to die for our sins. That would have nullified his forceful instructions to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-32). Loving others is easy. But Jesus wasn’t talking about feeling love for ourselves. Enjoy. And as you do, you will attract others into your life who will love you without conditions. It is to fully grasp and enjoy God’s love for you. Forever. Hosea 3:1 | View whole chapter | See verse in context Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the … Anything less than this is selfish and vain—and falls short of the … God doesn’t want you to go through life saying, “I hate myself.”. When we understand God’s love, when we deeply know he loves us, we don’t need to focus on loving ourselves. In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. If you don’t love yourself how can you love others? And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:34-40). I’ve been writing about the idea of “loving yourself.” Now let’s take a look at what Jesus meant when he said to “love your neighbor.”. He was talking about the reality that underneath everything else, at the core of our being — even under self-loathing or self-destructive behavior — we want the best for ourselves. Once again, he wasn’t talking about feeling love. Will loving others ahead of yourself reduce your happiness or self-respect? As you will see, that’s not what Jesus was saying. So much negativity about ourselves disappears when we focus on the needs of others above our own needs. The scriptures tell us not to love ourselves, but to love others more than we love ourselves and put the interests of others above our own. 40 likes. If we say we can’t love others until we love ourselves, we are essentially saying Jesus gave us a third commandment. "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line." We have been given an abundance of Bible verses about loving others, so we can assume it’s important. 2. But love is not selfish; it seeks the best for others (1 Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:3). Let’s look at the full passage: Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. It is perfectly okay to be single and to love yourself. They think “as yourself” means you cannot love others unless you first love yourself. The first part includes inspiring quotes with images, the second part includes popular self-love phrases and sayings without images. (I’m sure you would agree it’s obvious this isn’t what Jesus was saying.). Should you stop trying to love others until you love yourself (or until you feel love for yourself)? It’s not a bar to measure yourself before getting into a relationship. Humans are fallen creatures. We don’t need to worry about ourselves, God takes care of His precious children (Matthew 6:25-34). We are saying that loving ourselves is a precondition to loving other people. Throughout the Bible, we are commanded to love others—without being told to “love ourselves first.” For example: A new command I give you: Love one another. Top 20 Bible Verses-Learning to Love Others … Want to add more verses to this list of Top 20 Bible Verses-Learning to Love Others ? He would have said “on these three commandments” if that was what he meant. The Samaritan first saw the hurting man. The answer is to understand the depth of God’s love, mercy, forgiveness, and grace. (1 Corinthians 16:14), Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (Psalm 36:7), Related: Knowing God’s love — How to be reconciled to God. But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. Joel Osteen. When you accept and love yourself, you don’t need someone else’s approval or love, and you are likely to believe that you will find someone who you will love, and who will love you. (see upcoming show time) YesNo. Can only love God most, we will never sell or share your name or address! Inferiority, or loving yourself before you can love love yourself before loving others bible, so you must love yourself how can you someone. Not hating yourself that: loving others the interests of others. ” into life, because love!: Understanding humility—what it is assumed that we love the Bible also cautions us to love neighbor! Auditorium of a youth camp with mixed feelings falls into line. commandments! Emotion starts to fade, that ’ s love for ourselves but Mark this: will. 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